Just to get it off my chest

•June 10, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Today, I feel . . .

religion1

Religion: a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs. (dictionary.com)

There are many religions throughout the globe. Some more popular than others; some that many may not know even exist. But within each religion, there are variations of readings or speeches for them to feel as if they are the “master” religion. My question is why?

How many times have you been on a train or in a park, and someone stands up and preaches about how you are going to hell because of who or what you believe in. I can’t even tell you how bad my ears burn from turning up my ipod every time that had happened to me.

It’s understandable to show pride in your religion as it is to show pride in your nationality. No one should ever be ashamed or feel threatened to be who they are. The ones who feel as if they are better than everyone else seem very insecure about them selves and use their religion as a step-up.

I have a close circle of friends and we are all of different religious backgrounds. Some even consider following more than one religion, as others tend to follow no religion at all. We don’t look at each other as categories, we see what’s inside the person and judge by that.

So, my question still stands. Why? Why do you think you’re better than me? Because you read it in a book? Because your religious leader told you so? What do you think gives you the right to tell me where I’m going when I die. When I die, I’ll be dead. That’s all. If heaven exists, great; if not, it’s been a good life.

It’s coming to the point where religion isn’t just having the comfort of faith; in the knowing of a greater power, but a competition. People have died because of what they believe in. Innocent people have lost their lives because they stand up for themselves and you feel threatened, yet they’ve done nothing to you, but you’re afraid they will.

That’s what it all comes down to; fear. Afraid of the unknown; so to get rid of that fear, you get rid of that “problem”. Well, for those who think that way, maybe you’re the problem.

I know I can’t speak for everyone, and I’m not trying to. This is my opinion, and an opinion is a statement that can’t be judged. It can be argued, but it’s not right or wrong. Some people may even agree with me, but are too afraid to speak up. Didn’t you know, it’s dangerous to speak your mind or have an opinion on just about anything?

What scares me the most is that my children may have to hide their faith because someone may not agree with them. I was once bullied as a child for my faith. Although, I never spoke of it, and dressed like any normal elementary school student, they knew I did religious studies after school and of course didn’t agree with my religion, because it wasn’t theirs.
Thinking back on that, to this day parents actually teach their children to judge other children by religion as well as nationality and color. It’s as if they’re picking out the “sick” kids and staying away from them because you may catch something, like a really bad case of tolerance.

There are many people who, like me, have been fed the lines of their religion being the all and powerful, but I have a hard time believing that. Even my family has told me about the hardships we’ve been through as a people and how we are the religion. But then I think to myself, if I really start acting like I’ve been taught and believe that my religion beats all of yours, then I’m no better than the kids who made my life a miserable at the age of 8.

I’m not saying I’m giving up my faith, I’m actually very proud of who I am, but that doesn’t mean that your faith is any less important. And by writing this, I don’t feel that this makes me a better person, just one that was able to get this off of her chest. You can disagree with me, heck you can hate me for all I care. But that doesn’t make you better than me.

And to think, this all came to me after watching an episode of Law & Order . . .

And now . . . ISHKABIBBLE!

Ahhhhh . . . I LOVE IT! Major props to Greg Benson!

Oh boy . . .

•March 19, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Today, I feel . . . drained

Okay . . . First off, let me start by saying that I am EXAUSTED! I had gotten about two hours of sleep last night, thanks to my damn deviated septum! Grrr . . . LAME! *sigh* Oh well . . .

 

Okay, for those interested in my last entry, concerning my vacation in Florida, honestly I’d rather not talk about it . . . It was . . . fun . . . for the most part, but that’s all I’m going to say about it. I’m just glad to be home and go along with my life as it had been before I left.

 

So . . . School started! And as most of ya’ll remember my 2 – 3 hour breaks before class last semester . . .  Now I have a 4 HOUR BREAK! But I really only have about an hour and a half today . . . I’m meeting my Buh Buh for lunches!

 

This semester’s not that bad . . . I have English in the morning, then Music with Children, with my bestest friend in the whole entire world! I also have Psychology 101 *Blah* and Acting! I told my mom that I was gonna work on my guilt and my BS-ing . . . =P

 

Okay . . . so yesterday was Joshtin Day! Hee hee hee . . . ^_^ Unfortunately, I had work yesterday, so I din’t have time to put up my story, and since it’s on MY computer, and not on the school’s system, I can’t upload it now either . . . I knew I should have emailed it to myself!

 

But ya’ll HAVE to check out my myspace page. I’m keeping it public until Aprin 1. It is awesome!!!!

 

And now for some . . . *deep breath* . . . ISHKABIBBLE!!!!!

 

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

 

Okay, One more ^_^


They never said they had any “artistic” skills . . . =P

 

Later! <3

Florida!

•February 28, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Today I feel . . . Giggly

Okay, so . . .

As y’all had read in my blog entitled “Dead & Gone”, my father had moved to Florida . . . And now I’m here as well! I just got here this afternoon @ around 4pm. It’s not New York, but it’ll do for now. I’m only here for a week, so hopefully this little “vacation” will help me relax before school next week, and maybe start seeing things, and people for what and who they are! I think a new me is about to emerge, and as scared as I am of the change and how it’ll effect everything and everyone around me, I think it’s time! So, watchout New York . . . A new me is about to emerge!

I’m gonna try to keep ya’ll as up to date on my stay here as I can. We’re supposed to go to a flea market in Datona for the day tomorrow. And on Monday, we may get a hotel for the night around disney and spend Tuesday and Wednesday in the park! The kid in me is uber excited! lol Thusday we may go down and see my cousins, but they live about 6 hous away, so we’ll see how that goes. Friday will most likely be a chill day, and then I’m back home Saturday!

I’m not sure if I’m gonna want to come back after this week . . . but I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter. *sigh* Oh well . . .

Alright, I’m pretty tired so I’m off to bed. But first . . .

ISHKABIBBLE!!!!

I choose you, I choose you!

Just wondering . . .

•February 26, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Today, I feel . . . untitled

Hey all!

I was in the middle of writing my Joshtin Day ‘09 story, when I got to thinking . . . Why not create my own web site? Good idea? I think so!

And don’t think I’m talking about another blog, but an actual site . . .

Ya know, with My selected pictures and videos . . . As well as my stories, parodies and Ideas!

Don’t worry, I’m not leaving word press . . . But it would be awesome to have a site where people don’t really judge . . . Cool, huh?

Lemmie know what ya’ll think! =)

Thanks!

ISHKABIBBLE!!!

“Snobby trend nazis!” You tell ‘em JC!

Dead & Gone

•February 24, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Today I feel . . . distressed2

Monday, December 15, 2008. One of the hardest days of my life. The day I lost not only someone closer to me than almost anyone in my life, but I lost myself as well. My Great Grandmother’s death had opened my eyes to a lot of things. My views have changed on many things in my life. From how I want to live it, to the people I want to surround myself with. I’m looking at everything in a brand new light.

Many people haven’t really noticed my transformation. Some even think that I’m over losing her. But I’m not. Not even close. I think about her every day. How part of my life is empty without her here. The day we buried her, a part of me was with her. And I’m never going to get that back. It’s an adjustment. One that gets easier little by little each day.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009. The day I lost two more people in my life. My Nana had passed away from her loss with kidney failure. My Father had also moved to Florida. Even with him still here, It was still hard for me to comprehend.

During my time of grieving, I had asked the ones close to me, not to be so sensitive around me. Not to treat me differently. I understood and appreciated the gesture, but I needed things to be the same. I don’t do well with change . . .

These past two months have been really hard for me. Not really knowing who to talk to. How to handle this kind of loss on my own. But I’m thankful for the people who had refused to leave my side when I really needed them, even when I tried to push them away. I honestly don’t think I’d still be here without them.

It’s been some time since I’ve started to feel myself die a bit inside each day. But I know that with time, I should be able to heal. Until then, I will wear my Great Grandmother’s הי with pride as I welcome the new me as positively as I can.

I just need to take things one day at a time, and stop thinking about how everyone views and scrutinizes every move I make. I need to think about me. This is gonna be one of the hardest thing for me to do, but it has to be done . . .

*****I turn my head to the east . . . I don’t see nobody by my side. I turn my head to the west . . . Still nobody in sight. So I turn my head to the north, swallow that pill that they call pride. The old me is dead and gone, but the new me will be alright.*****